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IAFN is offering a special 5-part series for members only on medical-forensic evaluation of asylum seekers (such a great topic). The 1st part of the series will be held on November 15th at 1pm: Legal Framework for Immigrant Victims & Introduction to the Istanbul Protocol. All sessions will be archived for later review.

Remaining webinars will take place in 2019 (again, these topics!):

• The Clinical Interview & Considerations for Vulnerable Populations
• Medical Forensic Exam & Utilizing the Istanbul Protocol
• Specific Forms of Torture & Corresponding Clinical Findings
• Writing a Medical-Legal Affidavit & Providing Oral Testimony

Register here (please note: the live session is limited to 200 people so don’t procrastinate if you want to attend).

The benefits of belonging to your professional organization, my friends…

Have you checked out the FHO store lately? You can find our newest research brief, Aging Bruises Based On Color, plus our original guide, Injury Following Consensual Sex. Both available now for electronic download.

I’m on my way to Ft. Bragg this morning. Not going to lie–getting on a plane was not easy today. Last week was a slog of straight 15+ hour days and this month and next, I am on the road every week, as many of you are. But this particular rainy morning I really did not want to get out of bed and drag myself back to the airport. Of course, now that I am in motion, it’s fine, but those 1st few hours this morning required some significant espresso to jumpstart my brain. On top of the travel, I am prepping for a series of new workshops and lectures, especially the ones at IAFN (that testimony workshop–whew, it’s going to be something, I am so excited about it). In the meantime, here’s a bit of distraction, what’s caught my eye since last we spoke:

Men, women, America, equality?

Longread: Unprotected (it is so good, though)

How a chef with terminal cancer is spending her remaining time

A most magical obituary; an all too familiar and tragic one that still begs to be read

Half the women in my life probably need to download this to escape the deluge of email

You don’t owe anyone an interaction

All the men who never assaulted me

Have you checked out the FHO store lately? You can find our newest research brief, Aging Bruises Based On Color, plus our original guide, Injury Following Consensual Sex. Both available now for electronic download.

Heading to Orlando tomorrow to teach with the Army, and like many of you, I’ll be keeping an eye on Florence (because like many of you we are in her projected path at this point–re-upped on a few hurricane supplies yesterday just in case). Being an Ohio girl I really didn’t have a full appreciation of this nonsense until I started living down here. Stay safe, y’all.

Last night began Rosh Hashanah and the start of the holiest time of the year for us. I thought my wife said it best, so I am going to simply repeat for you here what she posted on social media because it really captures where we are personally and culturally at this time and place in the US: Shana Tova to my friends and family who celebrate. I wish you a sweet new year. I wish you time, peace, and solitude for the hard work of self-reflection in these coming days, as we all consider how we will live differently in the new year. I hope your intention includes loving more, including more, and fighting more. Let MORE be our kavanah (intention) this year.

Amen to that. Here’s what caught my eye since last we spoke:

Just in time for the holiday: Repentance is hard, take note abusers

Aspire to live a life of enough integrity that Ronan Farrow never feels compelled to write about you

Last week’s Kavanaugh hearings sadly required this reminder about contraception from ACOG (PDF)

50 States of Queer: a midterm voter’s guide

Delores Huerta! (this is a great, brief, monologue, but if you have time, check out the extended audio below it)

I was sexually assaulted by another Marine. The Corps didn’t believe me.

#MeToo at the ballet 

One of the better takes on the US Open women’s finals

This video of Elizabeth Gilbert talking about hobbies vs jobs vs careers vs vocations was so spot on. Even though it’s geared towards artists, it felt incredibly relevant for many of us in our work, as well.

“And understanding that this ideal of rugged individualism and self-reliance — rugged individualism didn’t map the human genome. Rugged individualism didn’t get us to the moon, and you can’t love your country without loving your countrymen and women. When we manifest that kind of patriotism, that kind of civic love, that’s when we do things that light up the world, that light up the planet Earth.” This whole interview with Cory Booker on civic spiritual evolution is a delight. Actually, all of Krista Tippet’s interviews are a delight, but I really enjoyed this one. Read the transcript or listen to the audio.

Finally, here’s a video that feels like something many of us can relate to:

Have you checked out the FHO store lately? You can find our newest research brief, Aging Bruises Based On Color, plus our original guide, Injury Following Consensual Sex. Both available now for electronic download.

I thought I would be heading straight from Camp Pendleton to Ft Drum, but as these things do, that work went away, so I am unexpectedly home for a few days before I head to the CLE for a family wedding over the Labor Day weekend. I don’t hate this–I can catch up on much-needed admin time, and get a head start on planning for my sessions at IAFN that have many moving parts that require careful mapping (I am still looking for a few more folks to facilitate, BTW, so please get in touch if you’re interested in the gig). Aside from indulging my wife’s folly this weekend of some camping (if you follow either of us on Facebook you know of what I speak), I had some downtime to catch up with the interwebs. Here’s what caught my eye since last we spoke:

Nothing about these findings are surprising

Well, this is–not good

Male entitlement to women’s attention and affection is a public health issue

Powerful.

A new bill has been introduced to fight black maternal health disparities.

This is next up on our collective watch list here in our household–have you seen it?

Many of you know I don’t work on planes–I took advantage of about 12 travel hours this past week and polished off Educated. Highly. Recommend.

Have you checked out the FHO store lately? You can find our newest research brief, Aging Bruises Based On Color, plus our original guide, Injury Following Consensual Sex. Both available now for electronic download.

Home this week, with my father-in-law visiting, before I head to Camp Pendleton Saturday. Amazing how much you can pack into a week at home, especially during the summer. It felt like we never quit this weekend, although we took time Friday night to head to our synagogue to stand with our community on the eve of the Unite the Right rally here in DC (which, thankfully turned out to be a whole lot of not much at all compared to all the counterprotesters). I mostly took to the interwebs to follow the protests yesterday evening, but I managed to catch up on a few other things, as well–here’s what caught my eye since last we spoke:

Catholic hospitals: proliferation actually translates to reduced access to some types of care

A wonder people hesitate to report

Love all these women vets running right now

DC restaurants weren’t having any of it this weekend

Healthcare gaslighting

The stories don’t seem to end for the military

Have you checked out the FHO store lately? You can find our newest research brief, Aging Bruises Based On Color, plus our original guide, Injury Following Consensual Sex. Both available now for electronic download.

Greeting from Columbia, South Carolina, where I will be working at the National Advocacy Center for the week with some of my very favorite collaborators. I had plenty of airport time in the last 48 hours, and a significant amount of time sitting in an actual airplane during that time (about 11ish total hours), so aside from watching movies–lots of movies–I read plenty. Here’s what caught my eye since last we spoke:

This Ronan Farrow longread on sexual misconduct by Les Moonves at CBS (you can also listen to the story via the link)

The rage I feel about this story (and even more so at the President’s heartless tweet in response)

White fragility

SASCA getting some love in the press; proud to have supported that effort

Remember her name: Nia Wilson

“It was the online version of road rage”

The whole conspiracy behind the story is bonkers

Love this story–good job, Air Force

Have you checked out the FHO store lately? You can find our newest research brief, Aging Bruises Based On Color, plus our original guide, Injury Following Consensual Sex. Both available now for electronic download.

I am working in Germany this week and didn’t think I’d have time to get a post up today. But then 2nd-night jet lag kicked in, which is usually the worst night for me, and all of the sudden I had plenty of time to read. So here’s what caught my eye in the middle of the night last night (since last we spoke):

Great reporting out of Minnesota on what’s not being done on sexual assault

The joy of missing out

President Obama’s excellent summer reading list

Sen. Booker at the border

This story is infuriating

The loveliest of essays on making a life from scratch

Have you checked out the FHO store lately? You can find our newest research brief, Aging Bruises Based On Color, plus our original guide, Injury Following Consensual Sex. Both available now for electronic download.

I am regularly asked about tips for putting together better (read: engaging) presentations. IAFN is just around the corner, and many of you are undoubtedly thinking about the talks you will be giving, so I was especially happy to run across a great (and brief) post on the subject over at Seth’s Blog. He provides 5 actionable ways to create better presentations, and I endorse the whole thing, particularly #5:

Be here now. The reason you’re giving a presentation and not sending us a memo is that your personal presence, your energy and your humanity add value. Don’t hide them. Don’t use a prescribed format if that format doesn’t match the best version of you.

It’ll take you a minute to read, and you’ll be glad you did.

Have you checked out the FHO store lately? You can find our newest research brief, Aging Bruises Based On Color, plus our original guide, Injury Following Consensual Sex. Both available now for electronic download.

I’m headed to Houston for a few days and then off to Germany for the better part of a week, so I will keep this brief. Lots going on in the world, honestly, it’s hard to keep track of it all. I have a significant amount of social media fatigue, so I have been spending less time scrolling through my feeds and more time catching up on meaningful reading (see tomorrow’s Articles of Note for example). A few things have caught my eye, though since last we spoke:

I loved this piece on setting limits with your time, something to which I aspire

Why I try to surround myself with positive people

No surprise, this

Just what we’ve all been waiting for: a new STD

Mandatory reporting policies protect universities–not survivors

France’s World Cup victory is a victory for immigrants everywhere

Have you checked out the FHO store lately? You can find our newest research brief, Aging Bruises Based On Color, plus our original guide, Injury Following Consensual Sex. Both available now for electronic download

I’m pretty sure everyone knows meetings are the worst. I am not a fan–I find them more often than not to be a colossal waste of time. Most meeting items could be accomplished in a few well-crafted emails or phone calls; they’re rarely efficient or focused. One of the reasons I have structured my professional life in the way that I have is precisely so I don’t have to spend a lot of time sitting in meetings. Clearly, this is not an isolated viewpoint. Futures Without Violence is hosting a webinar to help you make your meetings better: What’s Your Agenda? How to Craft Meaningful Agendas will be held July 30th at 2pm ET. From the website:

This webinar will explore the process for developing agendas that reflect your goals, meet your needs, and help you to achieve your objectives. Similar to instructional design, the creation of meeting agendas is much simpler when you follow a step-by-step process that facilitates a critical analysis of what you need to accomplish and how you should accomplish it. Together, we will use a simple tool that will help guide you through the creation of meaningful agendas.

Register for the session here.

Have you checked out the FHO store lately? You can find our newest research brief, Aging Bruises Based On Color, plus our original guide, Injury Following Consensual Sex. Both available now for electronic download.

No surprise, my work in AZ originally scheduled for this week will now be taking place in September, so I find myself suddenly at home. Not complaining. I was solo all weekend, which gave me plenty of time to do absolutely anything I pleased, which included plenty of surfing, so here’s what caught my eye since last we spoke:

Stop raising awareness

This is so clearly very bad (and very familiar)

Pretty much all of these

Civility, amiright?

40, single, childless and happy. Really.

An outstanding piece on student loan debt

The Tour de France is men-only, so women are biking it a day early

Of course

A short video about the homeless shelter where we have our clinic (we’re in a Macy’s!)

Have you checked out the FHO store lately? You can find our newest research brief, Aging Bruises Based On Color, plus our original guide, Injury Following Consensual Sex. Both available now for electronic download.

Hard to believe it’s July, and yet here we are. I am sad to tell you my summer basically ends this week, with my girlchild heading back to the 216 for work and school obligations (and just generally being a teenager with a social life), and my wife and I resuming our lives of traveling (separately) non-stop. If you’d like to keep up at home, between Saturday and Labor Day weekend I will be headed to: Ft. Huachuca, AZ-Houston, TX-Kaiserslautern, Germany-Columbia, SC-Vicenza, Italy, Camp Pendleton, CA-Ft. Drum, NY-Cleveland, OH. Not complaining–work is a blessing, I will take it. However, posting may be inconsistent, please bear with me (long time FHO readers know the drill). Especially the weeks out of the country, I will try to respond to your inquiries in a timely manner, keep postings going, all of the things. Just know I am bouncing around time zones. Your patience, as always, is much appreciated. BTW, continued thanks to everyone supporting the new research brief on aging bruises based on color. The response has been really lovely.

I spent most of the weekend working, since the kiddo has been off at Georgetown this past week, and Sasha had Army duty. I tried to get down to the protest, but my timing was a bit off, and I missed the tail end of the rally, which was disappointing. Still amazing to see so many protesters in white, with their creative signs, persevering in the heat. When I wasn’t working, I caught up on the (mostly dismal) news of the week. Here’s what caught my eye since last we spoke:

This is legitimately the best thing I’ve read recently–spot on

Yes, let’s.

The July issue of Topic is out, called Trigger Warnings–it’s all about gun culture. There’s a lot there if you have the time.

Some of the best from the protests this weekend (and here)

If you haven’t seen Nanette yet, it’s just, wow…

The executives who’ve been taken down by #MeToo

Related: why it’s harder for black women to come forward

PTSD and the Pulse first responders

Hard to believe it’s not a hate crime already

The very definition of not patient-centered

I wasn’t able to attend this hearing last week, but I caught Terry Crews’ testimony online. You should, too:

Have you checked out the FHO store lately? You can find our newest research brief, Aging Bruises Based On Color, plus our original guide, Injury Following Consensual Sex. Both available now for electronic download.

Thank you to everyone who has already purchased the new research brief. Your response to yesterday’s post has been really incredible (about quadruple the usual traffic). Please keep trying if you have had any problems purchasing either item from the store–a few of you emailed me with issues, but based on the receipts I’ve seen it looks like those problems have worked themselves out.

I’m off for the rest of the week, but I’ll see you back here Monday with the usual fare. Enjoy the weekend!

In case you missed it, our new research brief: Aging Bruises Based on Color is now available for electronic download!

Yesterday, I dropped the girlchild off at Georgetown for a summer program in international diplomacy (my child’s do-gooder heart has designs on the larger world, so off she goes to work on issues of human conflict and whatnot)–this meant lots of family time this weekend and very little surfing. Let’s face it–here in the US, the news continues to be pretty bleak. Honestly, living in DC is more of a circus than it’s ever been; I don’t even need to leave my neighborhood to be reminded of it right now. Sasha and I continue to support efforts of organizations like RAICES (BTW, for those of you in the San Antonio area, they hold educational sessions every Tuesday to volunteer with their organization, if you’d like to donate time). There’s a good chance we will be at the march on Saturday with hundreds of thousands of like-minded people. Not sure what more we can do right now but put dollars behind the work being done and make sure our voices are heard.

Also, a bit of news: there will be a new item for purchase in the FHO store this week (I hope). I am crossing fingers because I must rely on outside assistance to make that happen, so my hope is that happens quickly, and you will see it posted in the next couple days. Bruising is the next topic. It will be the same price as the other ($4.99), digital download, and about the same length. Feel free to make an offering to the internet gods, we’ll see how long it takes to go live.

And with that, here’s what’s caught my eye since last we spoke:

Hey Winnipeg, I see you 🙂

Smart homes have become tools of digital abuse

What closing the door on the asylum process would mean for some of our patients

Flight attendants need training on sexual abuse and harassment response because the numbers are climbing

The randomness of bail

Many of you have shared this, and although I am not a Texas voter, I am so impressed with this ad (and with her story), it’s worth space here. Just because you can’t vote for her, doesn’t mean you can’t support here campaign:

Our first offering in the FHO store, Injury Following Consensual Sex is now available. If you haven’t ordered a copy yet, you can find it here.  And coming soon–the follow-up research brief on bruising, out at the end of the month!

Friends, it seems like everything I’m reading right now is about the crisis at our borders. And not the garbage, build-a-wall crisis that the president would like us to focus on, but the real crisis of children and parents being separated. I understand you may not see yourself as political, but as a forensic nurse, this is antithetical to the work that we do. The real trauma that this causes is undeniable (here’s just one example of a powerful account of what separating kids from parents does). Perhaps you are educating yourself about this issue by reading about the experience of the president of the American Academy of Pediatrics after she visited one of the shelters for children; maybe you’ve seen the official statements released by her organization,  Physicians for Human Rights (to which IAFN signed on), the National Association of Pediatric Nurse Practitioners, or the American Public Health Association; perhaps you read the op-ed by former first lady Laura Bush, calling the practice immoral, or this op-ed from some of our smart nursing colleagues on toxic stress; maybe you saw that more than 2,500 women in the faith community called on this administration to stop this policy once and for all; or the first-hand account of the immigration experts dealing with this issue daily.

But forensic nursing practice is about action, and in whatever way you feel you can do that, now is the time. Because this is not a made up, partisan crisis. This is a serious, humanitarian crisis. So voices need to be raised in protest and action must be taken. Here are some ideas:

• Slate did a great piece on all of the ways you can help. It’s a comprehensive list of organizations and actions around the US.
• On June 30th, there will be Families Belong Together rallies all around the US. You can check their website to see what’s happening in your own area, sign their petition, or donate money (and believe me, donating money is no insignificant thing–all causes need cash, so if you have it to donate consider giving it to one of the organizations working to overturn this terrible policy).
• Call/email/tweet your senator (especially your Republican ones, since as of this morning, not a single one has yet to sign on) to support the Keep Families Together Act. Contrary to what the president keeps saying, he has the power to stop this at his fingertips and barring that, the Republicans are in control of the House and the Senate. They could stop separating families. Let them know this is not okay.

It’s time (again) to use your privilege for good. Figure out what action looks like in your own life and take it. This is a bleak time for us here in the US, but for everyone who says, it’s not who we are, sadly, that’s not true. It is who we are, it is who we’ve been–open your history books, let’s talk about boarding schools, or internment camps. Or consider the entire shameful history of slavery in this country. It is definitely who we have been. We as a nation have a terrible history of separating children from their parents. But we can put an end to it this time around. I encourage you not to be complacent.

BTW, If you didn’t see AAP President Dr. Colleen Kraft on CBS This Morning, here’s just a brief clip of her interview with Gayle King:

Can children recover from this type of trauma?
“This type of trauma can be long lasting…we know very young children who are exposed to this type of trauma go on to not develop their speech…and wind up with developmental delays,” says @aappres pic.twitter.com/Yfck7Ehptq

— CBS This Morning (@CBSThisMorning) June 18, 2018

It was a reasonable weekend for Capital Pride (weather-wise), and we had a lovely time here in our household. Our synagogue holds an annual Pride Shabbat service Friday evening to kick off the festivities, and you never know who’s going to show up to speak or deliver a reading, but it’s always inspiring and an excellent way to decompress after a long week. This year she said the blessing over the candles and did a reading about inclusion to begin the evening, which was perfection. We skipped the parade Saturday night (one of these years we’ll go, but it was threatening rain, so we didn’t chance it– instead we lived our best life by going to see Ocean’s 8 with our daughter), but made it to the festival yesterday, where we were joined by thousands of our closest, queerest friends and allies. Because it was a full weekend, I didn’t spend much time inside online, but last night over pints of Ben & Jerry’s it’s possible we surfed en famille for a bit. Here’s what caught my eye since last we spoke:

Sigh. Handmaid’s Tale looking more and more like a documentary these days

Not surprisingly, stigma is hurting our response to the opioid epidemic

If you interview with me someday, I promise I will ask you #19

In the wake of last week’s high profile suicides, many good pieces were written, but my favorites include:

Thinking about survivors

Bourdain and masculinity

Bourdain and the power of telling the truth

Raising sons in the #MeToo era

The NFL seems to be failing in the DV prevention arena

Oh yes, I’ve been there (and many of you have, too)

The upside of chronic anxiety

Well, here’s the thing–Friday was my birthday, and we are a family that does birthdays over an entire weekend. My folks came in, and my kiddo comes today, so I did a whole lot of play this weekend and not much in the way of work. Not really even much in the way of reading. But last night as I started to think about what this week brings (travel, projects, some house stuff, and then Pride), my brain kept me awake and I ended up perusing my social media feeds. So I managed to catch up a bit on what’s going on in the world–here’s what caught my eye since last we spoke:

“The persistence of racist medical beliefs, and their association with ongoing racial disparities in treatment and patient outcomes, represents a major challenge for 21st-century American medicine.” Believe it.

The NFL has a serious problem with its priorities

A glossary for the #metoo movement

One of the best takes on the Roseanne Barr garbage

Sports media doesn’t know what to do about sexual violence

This weekend’s long read (hello, Brock Turner)

Decades of doing this work made this story feel terribly familiar

This report (well, mostly the photos) pretty well gutted me

A look at the shifting death stats in the wake of Hurricane Maria

For those of you who are Alexa users…

Our first offering in the FHO store, Injury Following Consensual Sex is now available. If you haven’t ordered a copy yet, you can find it here. 

I am actually hanging out in the mountains of West Virginia with wife and pup for the remainder of this holiday weekend, but I wanted to leave you with something that I found profoundly thought-provoking. Perhaps you’ve seen it–Abby Wambach’s commencement address at Barnard College last week. You can read the full text here, but if you have the opportunity, I recommend watching it, because I found it to be pretty aspirational:

Our first offering in the FHO store, Injury Following Consensual Sex is now available. If you haven’t ordered a copy yet, you can find it here. 

You are missed–personally and professionally–every day.

1/23/69-5/23/16

Last week, Sasha and I were fortunate enough to have been invited to teach for several days on responses to gender-based violence for the US embassy in Ethiopia (Russ Strand was the 3rd member of our party, and taught on our day off). I spend a great deal of time traveling, both domestically and internationally, but this was my first time in Africa, and I went without any preconceived ideas about what we would experience. Although the trip was relatively brief (we spent only 4 days on the ground), I felt like I was able to see quite a bit of Addis Ababa. If you have any interest whatsoever, please keep reading. Otherwise, come back tomorrow for regular FHO programming.

1. Addis Ababa is more than 7700′ in elevation, making the weather in May relatively cool, dry and honestly, not what I expected. It was lovely, and Sasha and I spent each evening sitting outside having drinks or dinner at our hotel, which was a welcome respite from the general chaos of the city. Addis is crowded and sprawling–traffic is impressive and that’s coming from someone who lives in the city with some of the worst traffic in the US. The streets weren’t just crowded with cars, but with people, and without a clear sense of traffic laws or signals. By the time we got back each evening, the idea of venturing back out wasn’t particularly appealing, so adventures were saved for the couple of unscheduled days we had in the city, where both time and the ability to safely negotiate the regulated yellow cabs (as opposed to the unregulated blue cabs and vans, from which we were warned away) was simpler. Addis doesn’t have the kind of violent crime that many countries are known for, but muggings and pickpocket-type crimes are prevalent, and because of what we do for a living, we are probably more vigilant than most. So safety was always on our minds, and we moved around the city accordingly. Most ex-pats we met had stories of having their wallets lifted in some fashion or another, but thankfully we did not run into any issues.
2. The focus of the conference was on eradicating GBV in Ethiopia, but until we showed up on Day One, it wasn’t clear who our audience would be, or even what the true goal of the conference was, as it was the first time any embassy had hosted something like this. We went with the impression that our predominant audience would be embassy personnel (healthcare providers, security staff, etc.) with some local professionals also invited. In truth, there were very few embassy personnel and the audience was overwhelmingly local professionals. This made for incredibly rich discussion but required us to shift our plan for teaching on the fly. We had local law enforcement, prosecutors, physicians, victim advocates, UN personnel, and a variety of other individuals. Our sessions were simultaneously translated into Amharic, the local language, although the majority of participants also spoke English. We covered a pretty broad range of topics during the two days that Sasha and I taught, including female genital mutilation/cutting; identifying and addressing IPV in the healthcare setting; injury in sexual assault cases; strangulation assessment; and corroboration in sexual assault. I honestly don’t know how effective the lectures were, but the conversations they spurred felt incredibly valuable.
3. As is the case in the US, if you want to know the breadth of what is happening, ask the victim advocates. No one has a better sense of the realities for victims, and we saw this dynamic repeatedly during our time in Ethiopia. At one point I was having a discussion with the group about strangulation assessment and the physicians were politely listening, but they let me know that this wasn’t something they saw frequently in Ethiopia. The UN personnel mentioned that acid attacks were perhaps something that should garner greater attention than strangulation. But the victim advocates stepped in and made it clear that they heard about strangulation over and over again from victims, which surprised many in the room. That multidisciplinary conversation was impactful, and shared perspective made for some great dialogue during our time with the group. And the advocates, as we so often see in the US, seemed to have the fullest picture.
4. We met many, many remarkable professionals in our short time there, but none more so than Maria Munir, who started the first shelter for rape and domestic violence victims in Ethiopia. The things she has accomplished are impressive, and we were so privileged to see her work in action on our last day when we were invited to visit the shelter. We met (and danced) with many of the teens and preteens, were treated to a traditional coffee and sweet made by some of the residents and staff and received a tour of the facilities. If I had done nothing else, the trip would have been worth it for that visit alone. Their shelter educates the children who live there, provides skills training for the women before they leave to live independently (we received beautiful scarves made by them), provides a huge range of healthcare, including deliveries, for the residents, and has on-site counseling services, child care services and pretty much anything else you could imagine being offered by a small village of dedicated women. You can read more about Maria and her amazing work here.
5. To prepare for the trip we followed all recommended CDC guidelines for travel in Ethiopia (with the exception of malaria, because we were only in the city and it was still the dry season). That meant all the immunizations, water and food precautions, and traveling pharmacy for emergencies. Knock wood, we seem to have managed without major issues, so good guidance all the way around.
6. Many of you asked how public Sasha and I planned to be about our marital status. The answer is simple. Not public at all. We shared a hotel room, but we reverted back to our days living under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and while it felt lousy to proceed in that fashion, compromising our safety or freedom would most definitely have felt worse. The embassy organizer was aware of our marital status, we took our advice from him, it ended up being fine. Not ideal, but our reality for the week was tolerable. And I was reminded of just how lucky I am that I get to live freely most days of my life, with a family that looks like mine, and not get hassled a whole lot for it. So yeah, it was what needed to be done. It was fine. My heart aches for the hundreds of thousands of people in this world who are not free to love like I get to.
7. Sasha was a huge hit. Seriously, what did you expect?
8. We identified more commonalities, and many issues felt more familiar than I think we expected. For instance, Ethiopia has several existing or planned “one-stops”, hospitals that essentially mirror the family justice center model with multiple services under one roof. One of the lectures during the conference was from a physician from Gandhi Hospital, the site of a one-stop (Facebook page), and their services mirrored many of the ones we also offer (no DNA testing, though–only two private labs in the country have the capacity to analyze, and they are prohibitively expensive). As Sasha was talking with the group about prosecuting these cases, many of the frustrations in the room about challenges in taking cases successfully to trial were similar to challenges we face in the US every day–consent, coercion, culture. Familiar.
9. Shutting up and listening was the most effective thing I could do while I was there. And so I tried to do that as much as humanly possible. Our jobs were ultimately less about teaching and more about facilitating conversation and to that end, I hope we succeeded.

10. My intention is to stay connected to the remarkable people that I met there–to Maria and her great good works; the physicians who are seeing enormous patient loads because there are too few providers for the population; to the various other professionals who have already reached out for protocols or slides or additional resources. The trip wasn’t an easy one, but it was extraordinary, and I have never met, collectively, a more welcoming, generous, hospitable people than those I met in Ethiopia. We came home with some great stories, an obscene amount of coffee, and burning desire to figure out how we can keep supporting the work happening there. So very lucky to have been able to go.

Our first offering in the FHO store, Injury Following Consensual Sex is now available. If you haven’t ordered a copy yet, you can find it here.